Clinically Awkward

If your hyperfixation got a hyperfixation, congratulations, you are exactly who this episode is for. The 2026 Stanley Cup playoffs broke a lot of neurodivergent brains this season, and I needed to talk about it with someone who gets it. This is the season finale of Clinically Awkward, and I went out with a bang.
My friend Jana Morgen (@thisbookishlady on TikTok) is a content creator and event coordinator based in the Bay Area who came into hockey through Heated Rivalry, went to eight Sharks games in a single season, and has been crying about men she found out existed that day ever since. We have been mutuals on TikTok for a while and I have been waiting for the right moment to get her on the pod. A Stanley Cup win felt like the right moment.
We got into why sports fandom might be the most neurodivergent-friendly environment on earth, how hyperfixation works when the thing you fixate on has literally infinite content, the parasocial spiral that happens when the playoffs eliminate someone's favorite captain and TikTok serves you their retirement press conference six minutes later, and why I think we need to stop calling it mental health and start calling it brain health. We also talked about goalie psychology, WAG shoe choices, the Vegas jerseys, the rotisserie chicken on the ice, and why Carter Hart simply does not have the mental fortitude. You know what you did, Carter.
Find Jana on TikTok at @thisbookishlady and find me at @clinicallyawkwardpod. If you want to work with me or apply to be a guest, head to alyssazimmerman.com.
00:00 You Found Your People: Neurodivergence, Sports Fandom, and the Art of the Hyperfixation03:50 Heated Rivalry to Rinkside: How an AO3 Fic Accidentally Turned Into Eight Sharks Games09:01 Had to Google It: Vintage Footage, Early Playoff Chaos, and Wait That's the Same Guy13:30 Parasocial as a Love Language: Crying About Men You Met Today21:37 WAG Culture, Vegas Jerseys, and the Case for Sparkles: Hockey Fashion We Did Not Expect24:25 Bussi, Anderson, and the Case for Calling It Brain Health30:35 Non-Toxic Male Friendship and the Carolina Hurricanes: What Seth Jarvis and His Friends Are Teaching Us33:17 Technically a Tangent: ADHD, NVLD, and Ways to Make Your DSM Actually Useful36:32 Carter Hart Has No Mental Fortitude and Other Things We Said Out Loud42:53 The Stanley Cup Is the Best Man at Three Weddings47:07 I Did That: ADHD Superstitions, Hockey Rituals, and How I Won the Stanley Cup52:02 Next Season Energy: PWHL, Finding Your People, and Jana's Secret Project

Some people have a pet. Nikki Dinwiddie has a neurodivergent household that includes two Great Danes, a goat in perimenopause, and what she describes as feathered roommates. She is a therapist. This tracks.
Nikki and I get into what it actually looks like when the whole household is neurodivergent, kids, husband, dogs, and possibly the goats. We talk about animals as an autism special interest, why parrots are feathered roommates and not pets, and where each of us falls on what I'm calling the autistic animal spectrum. Spoiler: we are not on the same side.
We also get into goats with a PDA profile, elephants who understand their own mortality, orcas organizing to flip yachts, and what animals know about us that we consistently underestimate. Plus Nikki closes us out with a snake fact that I was not prepared for and neither are you.
Nikki practices in Concord, New Hampshire and is licensed in both New Hampshire and Massachusetts, specializing in autism, ADHD, and the LGBTQ community. She can be found at balancementalhealth.com. 
00:00 Intro: AuDHD, Animals, and the Whole Neurodivergent Household
04:36 Suspiciouition: How AuDHD Therapists Spot Each Other
07:42 Autism Special Interests, Autistic Parents, and Why We Became Therapists
12:00 Parrots Are Feathered Roommates: The Ultimate AuDHD Pet
21:25 Sensory Issues and Animals: The Neurodivergent Animal Spectrum
31:29 Neurodivergent Sensory Trauma, Animals in Captivity, and Zoo Ethics
38:33 Do Animals Understand Us? What Neurodivergent Pet Owners Know
43:46 Late Autism Diagnosis, Masking in Childhood, and Growing Up Neurodivergent
47:31 Animal-Human Connection: What Our Pets Actually Know About Us
47:32 Ethical Pet Keeping, Bioactive Vivariums, and Showering With Your Parrots
56:07 Elephant Matriarchs, Orca Pods, and Animals Who Have It Figured Out
56:07 Final Facts: Snakes Have Two Penises and Other Things You Needed to Know

If you've ever sat in a performance review thinking "I would be so good at this job if everyone would just leave me alone," this episode is for you.
This week I'm joined by Polly Pollock, an AuDHD marketing and sales coach for neurodivergent online business owners, and we are getting into all of it: why the workplace was never actually built for us, what the ADHD tax really costs, why "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" is a crock of shit, and how to build a business that works with your brain instead of against it. We also get into neuro supremacy, the sinking boat analogy, and what it means that the primary thing we're bad at is capitalism.
If you're a neurodivergent woman who has ever been called bossy, hot-headed, or a pain in the ass for asking for a chair, or who has quietly fantasized about just being left alone to do the work, Polly has some thoughts. And so do I.
Find Polly and learn more about the Neuro-Friendly Sales Accelerator at https://www.neuropreneurrising.com/nfsa.
 
00:00 Late ADHD and Autism Diagnosis: Living With It Before You Had a Name for It
08:29 ADHD, Autism, and the Workplace: Why Neurodivergent Brains Reject Capitalism
15:02 Workplace Accommodations, Masking Exhaustion, and Neurodivergent Direct Communication
22:14 Neurodivergent Women at Work: Masking, Mean Girls, and the Double Penalty
26:42 Directness, Neuro Supremacy, and Why Systems Don't Actually Want Solutions
34:11 ADHD Burnout, the "Do What You Love" Lie, and Messaging That Baked in Self-Doubt
40:01 Starting a Neurodivergent Business Without a Safety Net: Random Tuesday Energy
45:51 ADHD Burnout vs. Good Tired: Wellness Routines, Hormone Cycles, and Knowing the Difference
50:52 The Neurodivergent Bullshit Detector: Why Overnight Success Stories Are Fables

The Stanley Cup Finals start today, this episode has never been more relevant, and the episode I was planning to air was a complete tech disaster. Re-airing this one was the only correct choice.
If you've already heard this one, welcome back. If you haven't, welcome to one of my favorites. I sat down with author and fellow neurodivergent human Maria Ingrande Mora to talk hockey hyperfixations, parasocial fandom, and what it actually means to have a brain like ours and a sport that kind of seems like it was designed for it.
We go deep on our origin stories, what it actually looks like to be a fan who was never exactly the target demographic, why sports fandom might be one of the most neurodivergent-friendly environments that exists, and the very specific cognitive dissonance of loving hockey fights. Parallel play, but with screaming.
We talk about why unmasking and late autism diagnosis change the way you understand your entire fan history, the moment your autism gets activated by someone signing your jersey in the wrong place, and the parasocial relationships with athletes that were actually just your nervous system doing its best. You are not alone and you never were.
Maria is the author of A Wild Radiance, a queer YA fantasy with ADHD and autistic rep that is out now. Go get it.
00:00 Introduction: Neurodivergent Identity and Late Diagnosis
09:07 Hockey Hyperfixations and Special Interests
15:28 Fandom, Parasocial Relationships, and Social Dynamics
24:41 Playoff Moments, Emotional Dysregulation, and Hyperfocus
31:40 Autistic Teen Fandom and Growing Up Neurodivergent
35:46 Sexual Objectification in Sports and Fandom Culture
40:46 Hockey Fights, Cognitive Dissonance, and Threat Response
45:25 Gender Dynamics, Neurodivergent Identity, and Inclusivity in Sports
51:31 Nostalgia, Unmasking, and Favorite Fan Memories
56:56 Heated Rivalry, Autism Representation, and Queer Hockey
58:33 A Wild Radiance: Neurodivergent Rep in YA Fantasy

I have an earnestly held belief that every culture thinks they invented being weird and unhinged. This week I'm joined by Brazilian American therapist and fellow AuDHD human Brenna Doering, and we are here to confirm that yes, your culture probably did normalize at least three autistic traits without knowing it, and no, that does not mean you were fine.
We get into what it actually looks like to grow up neurodivergent in a culture that does not have language for it, how your culture and your brain can both be asking you to disappear at the same time, and the very real racial disparities in who gets an ADHD or autism diagnosis versus who just gets labeled a problem. We also spend some time debunking the "everyone is a little autistic" myth, because no. No they are not.
Brenna also coined the term manic pixie meltdown and I will not be taking questions about how much I relate to that. If you are a late diagnosed AuDHD woman, femme, or them who grew up being told you were too sensitive, too much, or just not trying hard enough, this one is for you.
Find Brenna at thatssowholesome.com and on Instagram and TikTok at thats.so.wholesome. She also runs a Discord community specifically for neurodivergent therapists, which you can find through her social media.

We're talking EMDR, trauma, nervous system regulation, and why no one in the history of calming down has ever calmed down by being told to calm down. This week I'm sitting down with clinical social worker Laurie Bellinger, who has spent 25 years working with clients across the lifespan, to talk about what's actually happening in your body when trauma gets stuck and why understanding it intellectually is never going to be enough to move it.
We start with what trauma actually means through a nervous system lens (spoiler: it's a lot more than car accidents and big scary events), then get into why top-down approaches like CBT hit a wall when your body thinks it's still in danger. Laurie breaks down polyvagal theory, window of tolerance, and bottom-up processing in a way that actually makes sense, and then walks us through EMDR therapy from the ground up: what the eight phases look like, why bilateral stimulation works, and why a good EMDR therapist is going to spend a lot of time before they ever wave a finger in front of your face. We also get into how to adapt EMDR for neurodivergent clients, what resourcing actually means, and why the therapeutic relationship predicts outcomes more than any modality ever will.
And for the therapists listening: we go there on mentorship gaps, burnout, what the community mental health model does to new clinicians, and Laurie's upcoming book for therapists trying to build a sustainable career without losing their minds in the process.
Laurie practices in New York State and offers consultation for clinicians at lauriebellinger.com.
 
00:00 Your Body Doesn't Know the Trauma's Over
03:48 What Actually Counts as Trauma (It's More Than You Think)
08:41 Top-Down vs. Bottom-Up Therapy: Why Talk Therapy Isn't Always Enough for Trauma
14:01 What Is EMDR Therapy and How Does It Reprocess Trauma
20:35 Bilateral Stimulation in EMDR: What It Is and Why It Works
26:17 Resourcing in EMDR: Why Safety Has to Come Before Trauma Processing
34:08 EMDR for ADHD and Autism: Adapting Trauma Therapy for Neurodivergent Brains
41:16 Why Good Therapy Is About the Relationship, Not the Modality
48:56 Therapist Burnout and Building a Sustainable Mental Health Career
56:32 Connect with Laurie Bellinger
 

Narrative therapy, ADHD, autism, and the story you've been telling yourself that is only ~10% of the actual truth. This week I'm talking to Dr. Cristina Louk, neurodivergent clinical psychologist, ADHD specialist, and one of the most genuinely warm and disarmingly earnest humans I've had on this show. She's been doing this work for decades and she is here to explain why narrative therapy might be the most slept-on modality for neurodivergent brains and why the story you've been telling about yourself is technically accurate but also deeply incomplete and kind of a disaster.
We get into what narrative therapy actually is, how you thicken a thin story, and why you should absolutely name your problem. Mine is Vanessa. We don't know why. We're not questioning it.
We also cover why narrative therapy is not your first stop if you're in crisis, how it plays with CBT, DBT, IFS, and somatic work, and what it looks like to restory your life without anyone telling you to just think positive. Nobody is telling you to just think positive on this podcast. Ever.
And then because we are who we are, we spiral into justice sensitivity, RSD, masking, ADHD friend breakups, why some neurodivergent people attract users, and the very specific experience of clocking every single thing someone does wrong while smiling politely about it.
Dr. Louk offers a free 15-minute consultation and sees clients in person in Woodinville, Washington and virtually throughout the state, with telehealth licenses in Florida and North Carolina. Find her at peacehumanistic.com.
If this episode hit different and you want more, you can find me at alyssazimmerman.com for therapy services in New York State or to apply to be a guest on Clinically Awkward. Come be unhinged with us.
 
0:00 Meet Dr. Cristina Louk: Neurodivergent Psychologist on ADHD, Autism, and the Anxiety Misdiagnosis Pipeline
5:15 What Is Narrative Therapy? Why This ADHD-Friendly Modality Flies Under the Radar
8:27 Thickening the Story: The Narrative Therapy Technique That Changes Everything
11:57 Narrative Therapy and Suffering: Why We Don't Run From the Hard Parts
14:39 Externalizing the Problem: Getting Neurodivergent Clients to Believe They Are Not the Issue
19:18 Neurodivergent Therapists, Compassion Fatigue, and Why We Don't Work in Candyland
22:04 How Narrative Therapy Actually Works: The Structured Process for ADHD and Autistic Clients
28:44 Masking, IFS, and Narrative Therapy: The Neurodivergent Overlap
30:50 Neuroexpansive: Reframing ADHD and Autism as Strength
36:30 Strength-Based Therapy vs. Toxic Positivity: What Narrative Therapy Gets Right
45:20 Justice Sensitivity and RSD: How Neurodivergent People Experience Emotional Dysregulation
49:11 ADHD, RSD, and Friend Breakups: The Stories We Tell About Relationships
 

If you grew up neurodivergent in a school that had no idea what to do with you, this episode is going to hit you right in the feelings.
I'm sitting down with Rebecca Engle, AuDHD dyslexia specialist, special education teacher, and owner of Stitches and Stanzas, an advocacy and creativity company that somehow combines knitting and screaming about the school system, which is the most neurodivergent business model I've ever heard of. We're both AuDHD, we were both identified early, and we both spent years in a system that had very strong opinions about our brains and was wrong about most of them.
We get into what ableism in special education actually looks like when it's not dramatic, just normalized. IEPs written for classroom management instead of learning, behavior charts standing in for actual support, and schools consistently misreading a nervous system in overload as a behavior problem. We dig into dyslexia specifically because it gets lost in the neurodivergence conversation and it shouldn't, what happens cognitively when dyslexia, ADHD, and autism show up in the same kid, school refusal, learned helplessness, screen time, and the pipeline from second grade dropout risk to the prison system.
We close on Rebecca's experience being denied entry into a teacher training program for being autistic, and why she only takes jobs at low-income schools. Regulation before rigor. That's the whole thing.
Rebecca's resources, including trauma-informed classroom tools and co-regulation models, are available through Stitches and Stanzas on Instagram and Facebook. If you're looking for therapy in New York, find me at alyssazimmerman.com.
00:00 Meet Rebecca Engle: AuDHD Dyslexia Specialist and Special Education Advocate
08:21 What Ableism in Special Education Actually Looks Like
13:00 Ableism is Just Annoyance in Disguise
17:12 What Schools Get Wrong About Dyslexia and Learning Differences
22:02 When Dyslexia, ADHD, and Autism Show Up in the Same Kid
26:26 School Refusal, Learned Helplessness, and the Cost of Compliance Culture
29:21 Screen Time, Reading Struggles, and Neurodivergent Kids
32:24 Why IEPs Fail Neurodivergent Students and What Actually Works
38:48 From Student with an IEP to Special Education Teacher
42:08 Ableism in Teacher Training Programs
47:49 What Every Educator Needs to Know About Neurodivergent Students

This week on Clinically Awkward, fellow therapist (and fellow Alyssa) Alyssa DeRoche joins me for what I can only describe as a reparative experience disguised as a podcast episode. We're both AuDHD, both millennial, both AFAB, and we both grew up watching this movie like it was a nature documentary about a species we were desperately trying to infiltrate.
We dig into why Cady crash landing in American high school isn't just a fish-out-of-water story. It's an allegory for what it actually feels like to be neurodivergent: arriving somewhere everyone else already knows the rules, doing everything wrong, and having absolutely no idea why people don't like you. We talk relational aggression, why it's so much more damaging than just getting punched, and why so many of us would have genuinely preferred the punch.
We get personal about our own diagnosis stories, our masking histories, and how exclusion in girlhood turns you into the adult who will not let a single person get left off an invitation list. We talk friendship limerence, the social coordinator trap, and why "just text her back" is not the helpful advice people think it is when you have ADHD.
We close on the forward-looking stuff: self-trust, knowing your actual capacity, and learning to tell people how your brain works before the friendship implodes.
Alyssa DeRoche is a therapist licensed in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. You can find her at seedoftruthcounseling.com.
If you're looking for therapy in New York, I'm at alyssazimmerman.com.
Timestamps:
00:00 Late Diagnosed and Finally Making Sense of It
09:16 Cady Heron and the Autistic Experience Nobody Named
16:08 Friendship Limerence, Executive Dysfunction, and the Group Chat
24:27 Is Regina George and The Case for Pretty Girl Autism
28:36 Janice Ian, The Role of the Outsider, and The Accountability Gap
33:32 Relational Aggression Is a Trauma Response
36:56 What Karen Smith Gets Right About Neurotypical Obliviousness
43:23 Why You Want an Autistic Therapist
48:07 Gretchen Weiners Deserves Better: Toxic Loyalty and Female Friendships
51:04 Self-Trust, Capacity, and Looking Forward

"It's natural" is not a safety label.
This week, Blair Buckley returns to the pod and we are getting into holistic medicine for neurodivergent bodies. The genuinely helpful,  the ineffective, and the stuff that can turn you yellow.
We talk about why supplements are less regulated than you think, what "proprietary blend" actually means, and why serotonin syndrome is a real risk, especially if you're already on antidepressants.
We get into acupuncture, including a very important contingency plan for what to do if you're full of needles and there's an emergency in the building, why the holes are much smaller than you think, and how chiropractic care requires a lot more nuance than just finding the nearest guy who will crack your neck. If you have Ehlers-Danlos or hypermobility, this part is especially for you.
We also go deep on chronic pain and mental health, because living in a body that hurts all the time has a psychological cost that most providers are not equipped to talk about. And because this is us, we end up in a whole conversation about ADHD, autism, and sleep, why the standard sleep hygiene advice was never written with neurodivergent people in mind, and how sometimes the goal is just harm reduction.
Blair is based in Denver and sees neurodivergent clients of all ages. You can find her on Psychology Today under Blair Buckley.
Find me at alyssazimmerman.com for therapy in New York State or to apply to be a guest.
00:00 Holistic Medicine: A Neurodivergent Guide to Whole Person Care
06:19 Supplements: Risks, Interactions, and Serotonin Syndrome
14:38 Acupuncture: Evidence Based Pain Relief and What to Expect
21:49 Chiropractic: What You Need to Know About EDS and Hypermobility
26:45 Physical Therapy: Barriers and Self-Advocacy for Neurodivergent People
32:52 Instant Gratification Medicine: ADHD, Dopamine, and Healthcare Decisions
35:22 Treating the Physical and Emotional Pain: Chronic Pain and Mental Health
40:04 The Pain Trauma Connection: Chronic Pain, Injury, and the Neurodivergent Nervous System
42:42 Is Cortisol Evil? Anxiety, Stress, and Neurodivergent Nervous Systems
44:57 The Neurodivergent Sleep Crisis: Sensory Sleep Hygiene and Why the Standard Advice Fails
49:50 More ND Taxes: The Hidden Time and Energy Costs of Neurodivergence
53:27 Wrap Up: Holistic Medicine, Self-Advocacy, and Informed Decision Making